Mother’s Day is this weekend, and most of us are probably busy planning our special dinners and writing cards and purchasing gifts for the special women in our lives that we want to honor. However, what makes me sad is that there are so many women I know who actually dread Mother’s Day.

For some, it’s a day of heartache. They want nothing more in this world than to be a mother- and they have yet to have that chance, whether it’s because they are struggling with infertility and miscarriages, or they have yet to find that special someone.

For others, it might be a reminder of a hard childhood- they grew up in a less than ideal home, and Mother’s Day brings up painful memories from the past that they would rather not think about.

For some women, it’s a hard day because moms just tend to be hard on themselves! They don’t see themselves as worth celebrating, that they have failed as a mother and that really it would be better to just skip the day altogether.

And then you have women who want to be celebrated, who work hard for their families and would appreciate a little recognition- but due to busy schedules, lack of planning, or spouses/kids that are forgetful, they find themselves living a regular day where they are doing everything- with little to no recognition- or maybe not the recognition they were hoping for.

While some of these reasons may hold more weight than others, they can definitely all be validated- Mother’s Day can be hard for all these reasons, and it’s sad that so many women actually dread the day that is supposed to be a celebration of who they are!

I have to confess- I used to be one of these women. Each year I would feel a little excitement for Mother’s Day, but inevitably the day would become something I dreaded because I felt like my sacrifices weren’t really recognized- and then it became a day in which I just felt like a horrible mother, not worth celebrating. I would spend the day thinking of all the ways I’ve failed as a mother and why I really wasn’t anything special or why I was undeserving of any recognition.

Well, that all changed a few years ago. I was talking to a friend and the topic of Mother’s Day casually came up. We were talking about what our plans were for the day, and she expressed how she LOVES Mother’s Day. She said she uses it as a day to reflect on how grateful she is to be a mother- and that struck me and has stayed with me since.

I realized that I had been looking at Mother’s Day all wrong. Instead of stressing about the kind of mother I am and thinking of all the mistakes I’ve made- I should be celebrating! Because that’s what Mother’s Day is- a celebration of mothers! Since that time, Mother’s Day has turned around for me. I no longer dread it, or try to hint to my husband what I would like that day to look like. Instead, I look at it as a day for me to show my gratitude to my family- for letting me be their mother/wife, and being patient with me despite my imperfections.

I’ve included this Blueberry French Toast recipe because it’s one of my family’s favorites, and it’s the one I typically make for Mother’s Day because all the prep work is done the day before- so I get to serve my family a delicious breakfast, but still take it easy in the morning ;).

Blueberry French Toast

Serving size: 10
Calories per serving: 487

Ingredients:
12 slices white bread, crusts removed
2 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
12 eggs
1 3/4 or 1 1/2 cup milk
3/4 cup maple syrup or honey
Sauce
1 cup sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 cup water
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries (2 cups is better ;) )
1 tablespoon butter


Directions:

Cut bread into 1 inch cubes. Place 1/2 in a greased 9x13 inch pan. Cut cream cheese into 1 inch cubes; place over bread. Top with blueberries and remaining bread. In a large bowl, beat eggs. Add milk and syrup (or honey); mix well and pour over bread mixture. Cover and chill 8 hours or overnight. Remove from fridge 30 minutes before baking. Cover and bake at 375 for 30 minutes. Uncover and bake 25 to 30 minutes more or until golden brown and center is set.

In a saucepan, combine sugar and cornstarch. Add water; bring to a boil over medium heat. Boil 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Stir in blueberries; reduce heat. Simmer 8 to 10 minutes or until blueberries have burst. Stir in butter until melted. Serve over French toast.

And you know what’s funny? Since I’ve adopted this attitude, my family actually does more on Mother’s Day. Maybe it’s because my kids are older, or maybe the happy, grateful attitude rubs off on them, but either way- Mother’s Day has become a wonderful one in my home :).

If you are one of those women who struggle with Mother’s Day, I would challenge you to re-think the day! If you’re struggling with infertility or have yet to have children of your own for other reasons, that is definitely a real struggle and my heart aches for you. Instead of thinking of loss on this day, think of the women you love in your life (your mother, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, best friends, etc) and use this day to thank them and celebrate them! And if you are privileged to have a good relationship with a niece/nephew, neighborhood child, etc, turn the tables and write them a little note, thanking them for their relationship and for letting you “mother” them in your own way.

If you had a bad childhood, feel that you are a terrible mother who doesn’t deserve a special holiday, or feel that you aren’t shown the gratitude that you would like- it’s time to stop! Instead of looking at this day with sorrow, think of the blessing it is to be a mother. Yes, it’s the most daunting, thankless, strenuous, soul-stretching and chaotic job in the world. But it is also BY FAR the most rewarding. Despite the late nights, middle-of-the-night feedings, the spilled milk, the mud on the floor, the fingerprints on the doors, the sibling rivalries, the stress of keeping little people alive- it’s worth it. The chubby kissable cheeks, the giggles, the snuggles, the milestones achieved, the memories you build and the relationships you develop- being a mother is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

How are you going to celebrate Mother’s Day this year? I hope that it’s a wonderful day for all you mothers and women who do so much for others!