I have 5 kids, the oldest of which is 8, so my house gets a little crazy at times! Especially meal times. As my kids are getting older, I’m getting much more aware of poor habits they’ve developed, as well as the good ones! It’s definitely an ongoing job, teaching good manners. Here are some things to think about if you feel your family needs this.

Make a list! Sometimes I don’t even know which manners I need to teach, until I see my kids doing the opposite. Make a list of all the table manners you want your children to learn- everything from asking to be excused from the table and washing hands before eating to setting the table correctly and helping clean up. This will give you a better visual of all the things you want your kids to learn, and will give you some direction from which to start! From there, you can either focus on one or two at a time, or tackle it all at once and review frequently.

Find creative ways to review. Don’t just list off the rules as your child breaks them. Put together a cute sign, ask one of your children to list off proper table manners before everyone begins eating, role play during playtime with the toy kitchen- give them plenty of opportunities to ingrain all this information in their heads!

Have an etiquette dinner. While we definitely need to be consistent in teaching day to day, sometimes it’s helpful to switch things up a bit, and have a special, “fancy” etiquette dinner. Help everyone get in some nicer clothing, and set the mood with dimmed lights and music. Have a special focus on eating with good manners. You could even make this a weekly/monthly thing, focusing on one particular table manner at a time, or just do it quarterly (aka occasionally) to review what they’ve hopefully already learned!

Have an “opposites” dinner. If you’re brave enough, have a dinner where you allow everyone to demonstrate the opposite of good manners. While there are sure to be some laughs, hopefully it will also be a good demonstration as to why good manners is a great thing! (For example, maybe it’s obnoxious when Dad keeps interrupting when you’re trying to talk, or it’s kind of gross when mom keeps reaching over your plate to get the baby’s food!).

Make it a game! You might not want to do this every meal time, but again, shaking things up a bit can have a huge impact! Make good manners a game! Give “points” for good behaviors (like saying please or thank you) and take away points for bad behaviors (like burping or reaching over someone’s plate). You can decide if you’re just playing for fun, or if you want to give a prize to the most well-mannered winner!

Eat at home, together, as often as possible. Practice makes perfect, and the more opportunities you give your child to practice good manners, the faster they will pick it up! Not to mention all the other benefits that come with eating dinner together as a family!

Lead by example. You can’t expect your kids to chew with their mouths closed if your mouth is gaping every time you chew a bite! Kids are much more apt to copy what we actually do, versus what we say, so it’s important to model the kind of behavior you want to see from your children.

Have patience. Kids will be kids- and that’s not a bad thing. Learning is just part of the growing-up experience, and you definitely can’t expect your children to learn everything in one evening! Give them a little grace as you constantly remind them, and one day (hopefully sooner than later), you’ll notice that they’re remembering on their own, and you’ve raised kids with good table manners!