Defending Marriage

Defending Marriage

It used to be the case that when someone said you were "gay" they meant you were a happy person. In the future, when someone you know says she's married, hopefully it will still be OK to say "what is your husband's name?"

You may have noticed that one of the hot topics in the news these days is the issue of gay marriages. Despite what you may have heard, President Bush is not necessarily opposed to gay marriages as long as the one gay person is a male and the other gay person is a female. Just kidding. I heard that on some TV show and it made me laugh.

The truth is, this is a very serious issue. This is a defining moment for our country and the choices we make will affect our families and this country for years to come. In the State of the Union address, our President moved the marriage issue to the front-burner of this year's legislative agenda saying:

"If judges insist on forcing their arbitrary will upon the people, the only alternative left to the people would be the constitutional process. Our Nation must defend the sanctity of marriage."

And, just this week, our President followed up by proposing a constitutional amendment to define marriage as the union between a man and a woman.

I do not bring this up because I enjoy talking about it because I do not. In fact, this issue is a bit depressing to me. The power of these rogue judges is scary and the success of the "homosexuality is normal" movement is troubling.

The reason I bring this up is because I owe it to you. You see, I brought up this topic in the November issue of the HomeCook'n Newsletter and posted opposing comments in the December issue. I was going to leave it at that and move on until I received this message:

I think the reason this is such an issue is because those who are for gay marriage have very loud voices. We saw a statistic on one of the local stations that represented it like this (don't quote me):

80% of Americans oppose gay marriage
19% are apathetic, sympathetic to gays, etc.
1% are homosexual who want marriage rights.

The point of the discussion was to show how a very small minority can have such a huge voice and sway public policy.

I think it would be nice for readers to see that the majority of people are against this issue. When they only read the negative, bashing comments from those who are for homosexual unions, they only hear/read one side of the story, and the homosexual voice grows louder. I think it would be good to publish the comments of those who are in support of marriage, so that objective readers get both sides and can decide for themselves.

So, in the future, I would recommend sharing both negative and positive feedback, so that readers are represented on all sides.

-Desi

I considered putting positive comments in the January Newsletter but I felt a little embarrassed at the thought since many of them praise me. There was a time when I thought there was something special about me and that my achievements were the result of my hard work and brains. However, I have since learned (...or, rather, I have since been humbled) and I know that without God I could have done nothing. I give Him all the credit for anything good I have done.

Nevertheless, I believe Desi has a good point and I'm going to take her advice... So that you may see the over-whelming support for maintaining the traditional family unit, here are some of the many positive comments I received:

Dear Dan:

I saw where you were blasted for listing an article opposing gay marriages. I'd like to, instead, say "thank you" for standing up for what you believe! Too many people are afraid to stand up and say anything contrary to what is viewed as "popular opinion". However, I have a difficult time believing that acceptance of homosexuality and gay marrages is truly what most Americans want and accept; therefore, "popular opinion" is not necessarily "majority opinion". Unfortunately, we in the "majority" fail to speak out as those in the minority do. Again, thank you for stating your strong values!

Sincerely,

Karen R.

Mr. Oaks:

I want to voice my support and praise of your stance for family values and the traditional definition of marriage and what constitutes a marital union. It takes a lot of courage, especially in the business world, to stand up to your convictions and your values, despite the business risk -- I applaud your courage.

I'm sure its not necessary to remind ourselves that this is the United States of America and thus, your right, even in business, to voice your stance should not alarm nor surprise anyone; and, an equally important fact that we needn't remind ourselves of is that, to be informed consumers, we need to practice excercising our duty and responsibility to read (fine print or large print) about who we do business with. Doing so would have shown, initially, that DVO Enterprises' business goals are not limited to merely "the bottom line of profitablity" but includes goals to serve "the family".

Upon reading about DVO in the paragrah entitled "What We Believe" and further on in the next paragrah entitled "Our History"; and upon coming across an inserted link to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in DVO's history, I surmised that DVO demonstrated some relation or affiliation to a religious institution which advocates and promotes the Judeo Christian values of family -- this revealed to me what DVO's definition of family was.

I do not belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but I do belong to another religion and faith whose theological beliefs and doctrines differ (widely) from that of the Latter Day Saints. My point is: I made a choice to go through with doing business with DVO, based on what background knowledge I acquired from the company's goals and philosophy -- anyone reading DVO's background and ties, therefore, should not have been alarmed nor surprised about the Cookie Crumbs article.

Though customers who chose to sever doing business with DVO Enterprises had the absolute the right to do so, they should have bowed out with tact and grace -- sans the negativity -- but, lauding and touting the American Free Enterprise system.

A naturalized American Citizen,

Maria M.

You took a stand by having that article on marriage in your November newsletter and took a major hit for it. But you did it anyway, risking that might happen. We shook our heads at some of the ignorance showed in those nasty responses and can only pray these people will have their hearts touched in a special way to see how their thinking is so distorted. Be assured that the majority are on your side.... that they agree with you and the article and even though you may have lost some customers, God will honor your stand and bless in a special way....

Deb and Lanny

Mr. Oaks,

Having read your November article, I don't understand the negative responses you received. (Well, actually, I do, because I have witnessed how our current political/media system works.) I read the Falwell article and didn't find anything hateful towards homosexuals, only a concern that our judicial system is going knowingly against the wishes of the majority of the citizens.

I respect the rights of those who desired to cancel their newsletter subscription. I have done the same when I felt my money was going to support efforts which contradicted my beliefs. What I take issue with is the insistence that hate was your motivation. And the utmost in absurdity - comparing you with a terrorist! If you want to identify a hate-filled act, what a perfect example!

You didn't post any supportive emails, so I wanted to send you one. I haven't read anything in the US Constitution about the separation of church and business, nor about sitting idly by when you feel an injustice is being done. Quite the contrary!

I am sorry for the criticism you received on this article, but I am glad that although you knew it would come, you submitted it anyway.

Susan S.

Hey Dan,

Talk about "catch-up." I just finished reading the December issue and all the comments on you being a hateful bigot, etc.!

Wow, as I read it the most sickening feelings came over me . . . these people reaming you for taking a stand and accusing you. I felt so much 'hatred' in their letters.

I'm so glad for your philosophy to promote 'family' even though it may mean a loss of profits. You truly heed the Prophet's call to do all in your power to preserve the family unit, as stated in the Proclamation of the Family.

It's interesting to me that big-time companies (with money from stocks--America's investors) can support whatever agenda they desire, through political lobbying, without asking the opinion of their investors. But, if any private business owner uses their own private company to take a personal stand, then they are pushing their views on others!??

Why can't those of us who have values state them without being accused of hatred and bigotry?

It's such a strange world! Anyway, I'm proud of your courage and integrity!

Desi

Dear Dan,

I feel like I can address you as Dan instead of Mr. Oaks. That's just so formal, and that's not the impression I was left with after speaking with you on the phone about three years ago. I had called with a technical question; and to my surprise, I actually ended up speaking with you, personally. That experience had a definite influence on my perception of your company, your products, and most of all, you.

I guess I need to preface what I say with the fact that I'm detail oriented. So when I initially got my Cook'n software I read practically the whole insert down to the fine print. Some way, after reading all that and exploring the software itself, I guess I realized that you were Mormon. I will admit I don't know much about your faith other than that the Osmonds were also Mormon (at least that's what I was told). I've been raised in and continue to worship in an Evangelical Baptist church. And I do know that there are differences in our doctrine. However, I would not disagree with you on supporting the Federal Marriage Amendment in an effort to preserve marriage as God intended it.

You were perfectly in line printing this article in your newsletter as these are your values, and it is your newsletter. Please don't back down or apologize for your belief in the truth of God's word. I'm sure there are many believers in Christ who also own your products and would agree with you wholeheartedly, even though they may not "voice" their support. After reading the negative responses you posted in the newsletter, the only thing I have to say is that it greatly distresses me that there are so many lost and mislead people in this world. But as 1 Corinthians 2:14 KJV says "But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spiritof God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned."

Keep up what you're doing Dan. And remember, "Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:" Ephesians 6:6-7 KJV I hope this was and encouragement to your heart.

Sincerely,

Becky Z.

Dear Mr. Oaks,

I felt very compelled to respond to this month's response to last month's Cookie Crumbs. No, don't cringe...please.

Thank you for standing on your beliefs. My husband and I share the same opinion to the individual who wrote the article. There are forces out there, physical and supernatural, that seek to destroy the family unit in various ways. Some of those ways have been apparent for a loooong time, others are not so obvious. My goal is not to preach the issue, but to tell you thank you for standing firm.

It would be my prayer that alot more people would do the same then perhaps the voiceful minority, yes minority, might be silenced a bit. But alas, too many who are in the majority that believe in the family, hide in the corner in shame for their views. As Christ said to his disciples, "He who confesses me before men, I will therefore confess before the Father. He who does not confess me before men, I will not confess before the Father".

Hang in there Dan. There are plenty of us who will continue to support your product. You took a chance, we pray that you will be blessed for it beyond your imagination.

Yours sincerely,

Keith and Cheryl S.

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to make your voice heard.

God Bless!

Dan