If you're in the job market right now you might want to familiarize yourself with the Human Resources Lingo...

COMPETITIVE SALARY
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY
We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL
We have no quality control.

APPLY IN PERSON
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.