I was reading what Dr. Tamar Chansky had to say about New Year's Resolutions on the Care 2 site the other day. It is, after all, that time of year again. She had some practical and very helpful tips for those of us that like "starting over." She deals with folks who struggle with OCD - obsessive/compulsive disorder - a very common behavior today. She understands the starting and stopping pattern people go through when resolving to do and be better. See what you think:

"1. No job is too small, so think smaller. Do you want to have one more meal each week with your family? Do you want to have a gratitude-sharing with your family each week? Do you want to apologize faster, be more kind to strangers - or people you know? Do you want to eat one less dessert each week? Taking little steps consistently means a better you emerges. The idea is to make life better for everyone, not just ourselves.

"2. Work with your natural laziness: Set up your supplies in advance. Failure and procrastination happen most often when the supplies we need to get the job done require us to actually stand up and do something (think about how we'll suffer through a bad movie because the remote is across the room). So improve your chances of success by making things easier on yourself: Get your supplies ready in advance (e.g., grab the remote before you sit down). This helps prevent that last-minute avoidance/apathy phenomenon from getting in your way. For instance, want to start going to the gym in the next couple of weeks? Get your bag together and put it in your car. Want to start bringing lunch to work? Make it the night before. Want to save money each month? Set up auto-withdrawal.

"3. Think short-term. Why don't you plan your menus for the next 12 months? Or your outfits? Ridiculous, right? So why are we planning our other goals for such a big chunk of time and then get upset when we can't sustain them? Try to make a goal for each month, rather than for the year. This way you can make modifications in response to how you're actually performing on the goal.

"4. Give it time. We all know the research - it takes a good three weeks to establish a new habit or pattern. So, especially in the early weeks of a goal, expect that your adherence will be up and down. Hang in. Habit strength awaits you on the other side of that first launching phase. Build in room for slips, hiccups, and setbacks. If you expect that this is part of the process, you won't misinterpret your slip ups, beat yourself up, and invent reasons to give up. You'll think instead: Right, Momma said there'd be days like this; and try again tomorrow.

"5. Think community and "raise the barn," together. A desire to change ourselves can be, and usually is, a solo pursuit. And when we fail, resolutions tend to be a source of private humiliation. But we're all in the same boat, so let's support each other in staying afloat. You can find a gym buddy or a job-hunting buddy if someone is going through similar challenges, but you don't have to be working toward the same goal. Find a buddy who you'll write to each week to update on your progress, and they'll do the same. This will also be the person who will give you the pep talk when you slip up and say "No big deal, keep going." (We all need that person).

Dr. Chansky had one last and powerful thought: "This year, as you approach the question of resolutions, remember that you're NOT starting from scratch - see and believe that the Better You that you're looking for is already there. See resolutions not so much as ways to overhaul your life, but rather as opportunities to polish and capitalize on the best version of who you already are." [ME: This thought may be the most profound of everything she says!]

I've been studying human potential and change, habits, and resolutions for years, and this is without doubt some of the best advice out there. Let's join together and take it! So as Dr. Chansky says, "Cheers to overcoming the obstacles that get in the way of seeing and being that best self. Happy New Year, all!"

Sources:
www.care2.com
www.stack.com
www.beautyfash.com
www.mrvitaminsnews.com.au
www.postcarbon.org
www.happiness-project.com