2003 Winners

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
   
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
   
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
   
4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
   
5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
   
6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
   
7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
   
8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
   
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
   
10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
    
11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
    
12. Glibido: All talk and no action.
    
13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
    
14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
    
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.