To Exercise Or Not To Exercise

*It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

*My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She is now 97 and we don't know where she is.

*I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

*I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing.

*I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

*I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

*I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

*The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

*If you are going to try cross country skiing, start with a small country. {like Switzerland??}

**And last, but not least, I don't jog - it makes the ice jump right out of my glass or the salt fall right off the rim of that margarita!